Craig Benzine
While hunting small game for his 13 cavechildren in the icy foothills near the village of Rohmaak, Wheezy Waiter, then known as Asatook ‘baek, approached a high peak and glanced out at vista no eyes had seen. He wished he could capture the grandeur and take it home to his tribe. Distracted, he fell into a crevasse where he remained frozen alive for 150 thousand years. In the nineties two high school boys thawed his body and taught him all the important aspects of modern life, especially keg parties! The land that was once Rohmaak was now Marshall, a tiny town outside Madison, WI. A medicine man inspected Wheezy and dubbed him asthmatic, then gave him a cigar with pressurized smoke that he must pump to inhale. At the end of high school, Wheezy traveled to College in Madison where he learned the modern Communication Art of Radio, Television, Film. His acquired knowledge of keg parties proved useful as this was the main venue for his newly formed rock ‘n roll tribe, Driftless Pony Club. This tribe eventually gathered their music tools and traversed southward on a path to Chicago where Wheezy became a waiter. Frustrated with his food-slinging trade, Wheezy recalled the icy vista outside his homeland that he was never able to capture. It was in the stars that he channel his Communication Art to capture new vistas and show them to a new tribe. Wheezy Waiter’s youtube channel was born! Sometimes on quiet evenings Wheezy dreams of his 13 cavechildren and beautiful, hairy cavewife, Keeeshui. He knows they are watching from the clouds above the icy peaks of Rohmaak. He hopes they like the view.
